Domestic Dropout

Dammit!

Sorry for the language, but I just bungled Rice Krispie treats. Rice KRISPIE treats! HOW is this possible?

I swear I am going to convert the kitchen into one long countertop, plastered in take-out menus, and completely give up. RICE KRISPIE treats, for Pete's sake!

Mine are all floppy instead of solidifying, hours later, and they taste too gooey sweet. I think I was misled into believing marshmellow creme is directly substitutable for marshmellows. Clearly it is not. (Also, I'm not even sure "substutitable" is a word.)

Maybe it's the humidity. It IS unseasonably warm... But no, I made the treats at Halloween, and it was pretty warm then, too. (For the record, they did work the one time. Otherwise, I wouldn't know they failed tonight.)

It must be ME! I simply CANNOT manage any consistency!

Come to think of it, this is so true. We either have too many clean clothes (so that the smaller drawers barely close), or no matching socks and one pair of underwear apiece. One might find mounds of snack foods in the cabinets, or not a carb in the house. (This week we were down to one piece of bread!) Some days, I've got four magazines and the innards of two newspapers spread on the coffee table; for weeks after, I'll find nothing to read in the house. My plants drown in water or gasp in drought. My make-up drawer is either full of redundancies or down to the dregs.

Why, oh, why is life like this? Upon reflection, I'm not sure it always was. What has HAPPENED?!

Do other thirty-something women find the simplest acts of both homemaking and face-making Herculean in nature?

...I think these questions are rhetorical.

But, still! Just one week of clean countertops, powder-perfect skin and dinners by 7 would go SO far toward rebuilding my youthful confidence! I'm not even asking for glossy straight hair or undies that match.

(Sigh.) It's probably not gonna happen. As modest as my domestic goddess goals, my down-home life will contrive to thwart them. Even now, my sticky socks are a red flag that I've missed a spill on the breakfast room floor. And that reminds me, I sure hope I didn't throw away that Chili's menu when I swept last week....