It Costs Us Nothing

My child thinks restaurants are free. He cannot be dissuaded. And his belief is strangely logical -- if you can see things from the 4-yr-old worldview.

We discovered Miles' misperception when we went to IHOP after church this week. He finished first, of course, and so was amusing himself -- coloring, counting things, opining -- while we wrapped up our high-caloric, Big-and-Tall-scale trays of breakfast bounty. Miles says, "You know why I like this restaurant best of all the others? You get to eat good food and you don't have to pay for it."

Me, quickly: "What?"

The Dad (slower, calmer, and with quizzical look): "We're paying for this food, Miles. We pay at the end, after we're done eating."

Miles (and Me, simultaneously): "Ahhhh..."

Me: "So, Miles, are you telling us that this is different from other eating places where we pay for the food BEFORE they give it to us?"

Miles: "Yeah. Like at Chick-Fil-A. But this kind of restaurant doesn't make you pay."

Dad: "Remember the Mexican restaurant, with the ice cream, where we went the other day? We paid them for the food. We paid at the end. Just like we will here."

Miles seemed accepting of the explanation -- and we seemed distracted by extraction of credit card (spouse) and completion of pancake (me) -- so I really can't remember how this portion of the conversation wound down. I do know we moved on to other topics until, some minutes later, the credit card statement arrived in its black plastic folder.

Jeremy opened it, nodded and began to sign about the time I glanced across the table. Our chipper, hyper, triumphant son was swinging his legs, chin resting on two hands. "See?" he stage whispered to himself, as he outstretched one upturned palm for drama effect. "I TOLD ya' we don't haffa pay here! It's just GREAT!"

So... as long as no actual green or coin money changes hands, we have not paid. And, in fact, when we do pay -- when he is presented with irrefutable evidence of some adult activity inside the black plastic folder -- Miles is pretty sure we're getting money back.

Crazy kid! But, also: OK. Why not? I see exactly where he's coming from. And I hope he has time for a few more wrong notions to (briefly) flourish before the world attacks and uproots them all. As I think about this (much as I do correct him and sometimes squelch his fanciful nature), I have developed a mantra. Reality tomorrow, I say.... Free food today!