Emmanuel

This is such a sweet season, this Christmastime. I was just thinking how much I need a Christmas, every single year, to tenderize my tough and fibrous heart.

I seem to get kind-of rougher on the outside every passing year. I even LOOK rougher out there, too! And that's nothing compared to the inside of me.

...I don't know how this happens -- truly! I never set out to be cold or cynical (OK -- maybe cynical for a few years, starting in middle school. But I was back to Pollyanna by, like 19) or, worse still, numb. I don't WANT to seem hardened or closed off to people and life experiences. But I definitely feel some closed doors in me. And the condition seems to be advancing with my age.

I guess the point of this rambling is just that I see the need for what God has done here. And what He does for us again and again, year after year. I acknowledge not only my need for a savior, but my head-snapping, thought-turning reaction to how He came to earth, the story of how he became Jesus -- it gets me every Christmas season.

I think we need the story to be as "out there" as it really is -- all crazy backwards, painful in its beauty, full of prophesy, majesty and mystery -- to be reminded that what God has woven... is weaving... is amazing. And that the person of Jesus is mind-blowing, really.

And having my mind blown once a year does a lot to fight the closed-heart condition that seems to be snaking a trenchline all across me.

The song that sums up my emotions this particular Advent season is Casting Crowns' "God is With Us" from their Peace on Earth album. (I don't think anyone calls them albums anymore. I don't know why I just did that.)

There's one verse I keep hearing in my head. May it ring in there long after the New Year...

Love is raining down on the world tonight
There's a presence here I can tell
God is in us, God is for us, God is with us, Emmanuel
He's the Savior we have been praying for
In our humble hearts He will dwell
God is in us, God is for us, God is with us, Emmanuel